sheisty.

i started off thinking, hey i'm too hard on my parents. and then i thought hey, i'm also way too harsh on my brothers. and maybe i'm just a hater. it's really not that bad being at home, as with most places it's what you make of it. i helped my mom bake cookies- she's getting payed to bake/cook holiday foodstuffs for people who don't have time/ are too lazy to do it themselves. tomorrow she's got mashed potatoes, greens, a turkey, and an apple crisp to make. plus dinner for the fam. danny's doing great, he sounds amazing on the tenor sax now and that's not just cuz he's my brother. for having only played for three years, he's doing outstanding. he's got his tryouts for new world in a month or so and i'm rooting for him. New World would do that kid some good. and yes, i did capitalize that. i'm not sure if i'm taking this trip just to run away from my choices or to run towards new ones. i know there isn't a 'right' thing to do but i just don't want to be running away either- it just seems infantile to think everything's gona be ok if i just hide out in central america for a while. like magic, i'll know exactly what i want to study, and what vocation to pursue, and what makes me happy and why i fight myself so damn much. but on the flip, dedicating three months to myself probably will help me a lot. i just have to force myself to do it. not shit around for three months and make the same choices all over again as soon as i come back.

vid of the day!